My Laura,
Thank you for visiting your Mom's dream last night. From personal experience, I know how much it can mean to those left behind. It makes us so calm if you can let us know that you are okay and not to worry about you. We will not rest easy until we know that from you. Rest in peace, Laura. We will in time, I believe!
Love,
Aunt Mary
Well, It's Labor Day and we are having a small BBQ. Andy and Andrea are here. Brent is in Hawaii because his uncle died. Heather is here though. Brad went fishing this morning but, is back now. Megan is stopping back over soon. Be with her, she is soooo confused. We are having a good time and we are sharing memories of you. We are also eating the last of that wonderful relish you made from your grandma Meglin's recipe. I wish you could be here in person, but I know that your spirit is here. I sometimes can feel you hovering over me, like a mother hen. I pray that you will come and talk to me when I am asleep. I have so much I want to ask you. I will try to stay open for that if you decide to come. I love you and I always will. Rest easy my sweet daughter. Love Forever, Mommy
Oh Laura, I can feel you close to me. I just wish there was some way for us to talk. I have so many questions. I know you want me to be happy and remember all the happy times we had together. But, it is really hard. I'm pretty sure that you didn't suffer, but I wish I could be sure. Someday the answers will be there for me, I suppose. I wish so badly that I could have held you in my arms when you crossed over. I didn't even know you were gone until about 5 hours after. How can that be? I should have felt it! When the call came, I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. Like I couldn't get my breath. Why didn't I somehow sense that something was terribly wrong? I don't know. It just frustrates me because I figured if anything ever happened to one of you I would somehow know. I love you baby. The boys are doing okay. Brad is glad to be back in Oregon and Aaron and Zach are feeling loved and cared for by Mary and Frank. I miss you my sweet daughter. I miss our phone calls. I hold you in my heart until we meet again. I love you, Laurie. Mom
I haven't spoken about you very much lately. In fact I have been avoiding it. It's not that I want to forget about you, in fact the opposite holds true. I don't know why exactly, many reasons come to mind. I think I have been somewhat of a coward. I foolishly believed that this would make it seem as though this never happened. This of course is untrue, and I know it yet I still avoid it. I am just so angry. I feel we were all cheated and robbed when you were taken from us. They say life is unfair so why should death be any different? This is beside the point really, we will drive ourselves mad trying to figure out why. I believe what matters is how we handle these situations, and I could've done so much better than what I have. From this point on for anyone who will lend an ear, I will gladly tell them about the woman who was a mother of three, sister to seven, and loved by a million.
Rest easy sis..
Checking in with love, prayers and hope that you're ok. It's a hard call to expect a grieving mother to ever be "ok" but if you accept that the word "ok" now and forever will have an entirely new meaning, it will be alright to ask.
I've wondered how you're doing, I know the days take on a different significance as we count down, one month, two months, and on until it becomes years. Yesterday was the ten month anniversary of my son's funeral. I can't even bear to think about it, but there it is, haunting me each and every month.
Some things in life are really not meant to be endured and we have all experienced the most major one of all. The loss of a child. It's non-recoverable........... We find ourselves eternally changed and trying to understand who we have become.
Sometimes it's very confusing who we are now and where we go from here. I don't think there is ever a plan it's just putting one foot in front of the other and moving forward somedays and back others.
Take care of yourself. Be very patient and gentle with yourself and your emotions. It feels like a roller coaster ride and there are more downs than ups for a long time.
Love,
jane
My sweet Laura,
I am flooded with memories of you growing up. All the goofy things, all the scary things, everthing. It is like a tapestry, memories all woven together. I remember the day you were born and how scared I was to go through labor and to have the responsibility of caring for a baby. I was only 20. Too young really for that. But, we muttled through together. You had no idea that I had no experience and trusted me completely. Once you got past the colicy stage, you were always smiling and giggling. You were my little companion and we went everywhere together. Then when you were 17 months old, Mary was born. I was worried that I could never love another child as much as I loved you. Wrong! I was afraid you would be jealous of her, but you loved her from the beginning. You were almost like twins. Then the other kids came along and I realized that there would always be enough love to go around for each new child. I must have done something right since you all grew up to be such wonderful adults. And unlike some adult siblings who drift apart you all have been there for each other and for me. I feel truely blessed. Now we have to face a life with you gone. It is physically painful. We all are hurting. We are trying to help each other get through this, but we all know nothing will be quite the same again. The memories are comforting, but the hurt is so new that it is hard to see that times will get easier. You live on, my love, in the hearts of all who loved you. Rest easy, baby girl. We got it covered. Visit us in our dreams sometimes. I will always love you, Laura Dawn. Mommy
Dear Laura,
I miss you so much. I'm sorry I don't write often it just makes me cry cuz I hurt so much. I love you, and your boys are gonna be well taken care of. Gaige cried at school yesterday on the playground and Zach was there to comfort her. We all miss you so much. Your boys have been behaving, as you already know.. you know they really are good kids when they want to be. They make their beds every morning and all they need is little reminders to keep their stuff picked up. I wish I could hug you again.. This hurts so much I can't imagine how the kids must be feeling. I dont know how I would've handled losing Mom at such a young age. I hold them when they are hurting and remind them that you are watching over them as an angel. ^j^ We all miss and love you very much! I gotta go do laundry. The never ending chore! Love you much!
